Vanessa & Sarah's Family of Five
My fourth stop took me to a family home with gorgeous mountain views tucked away in Figtree. When I entered Vanessa and Sarah’s place, I was greeted by their 3 lovely children Ebony, Ben and Josie, who are all 11 years of age. I also had the pleasure of meeting Bonnie and Kylie, the two family dogs who are evidently and deservingly adored by all.
The home was filled with golden hour light and chatter as dinner was prepared in the kitchen. I was immediately drawn to the dining area where a gallery of images is displayed on the walls, each sharing precious family memories. One side of the room is a designated space for family who live in the UK complete with a clock set to local time, making the oceans separating us feel just a little smaller.
“Lucky for me I live with the most wonderful, supportive ‘other mother’. I am so grateful I get to parent with her. ”
We chose to shoot around the dinner table as Vanessa had affectionately described how her family interact at meal times. It wasn’t your average photoshoot, there was vibrant conversation, lots of laughter and banter flying around the table, filling the space with warmth. There was genuine connection within this family, nothing felt staged or scripted, everyone being their authentic selves. I found myself struggling to capture exactly how it felt to be in this space, presence was as important as the click of the shutter.
After dinner, Vanessa and Sarah kindly shared some of their motherhood stories with me, taking me back to the days when they had 3 little babes and were merely surviving. I got the sense that their Mother Village had mostly consisted of each other, each carrying and sharing the responsibilities of having triplets while juggling careers and supporting one another through the ups and downs.
Something I took away from this experience and will carry with me is the advice that instead of placing pressure on myself to do things perfectly (something I have done every day for the past 5 months, not only as a new mother but also as a wife, daughter and friend), I should embrace the times that I make errors and learn to apologise to my child when necessary. This exchange of respect and vulnerability feels important to me as my son grows into his own person while I unlearn old behaviours and open my mind to new dimensions and lessons that he has in store for me.
I can’t begin to understand all that this couple have been through to have raised 3 polite, kind and intelligent children, the snippet of quality family time and connection that I witnessed is something that I hope I am able to achieve in my life too. It was a privilege to be invited into this home and spend time with this lovely family.
Each of the mothers involved in this project were interviewed about their experiences and connections to community. Throughout this blog, I will share some direct quotes captured in these interviews.
How would you describe motherhood? Relentless, exhausting, noisy, messy.
Being more connected than ever.
Joyous, heart-warming, surprising, grateful.
Coffee!
I enjoy being a mother more and more as my kids are growing up. Seeing the lovely humans they are becoming is beautiful. I love watching them develop into themselves as people. I also love looking back at photos and videos from when they were little, they were so bloody cute! At the time, I think we were so busy surviving that we couldn't appreciate it.
What does your Mother Village look like? I have loved watching my own mother's relationship with my kids. She seemed quite serious when she was parenting me, but I love seeing the playful side of her that comes out with the kids now, I love the way that they interact together, it genuinely warms my heart.
Other mum's that come to mind are the mum's of my kids school friends. When the kids hangout, often so do the parents. We also have a lovely group of friends as neighbours in our street.
How do you connect to other mothers? Lucky for me I live with the most wonderful, supportive 'other mother'. I am so grateful I get to parent with her.
My favourite times with other mums and their families are on our annual camping trip down the coast every Summer. Something about spending all that extra time by the water, living mostly outdoors recharges my batteries. The best thing is there is no time pressure to go anywhere or do anything.
I have some other friends that I catch up with for coffee and my bestie and I usually chat on the phone.
What do you love about your Mother Village? I like doing fun stuff with the kids. Often parents sit on the sidelines and watch. I love to get involved and see other parents doing the same. Why should the kids have all the fun?
Is there anything missing from your Mother Village? As I'm a shift worker, I often have availability to hang out during weekdays when most other people are working.
Where is somewhere local that you visit to meet up with other mothers? My preference is a bushwalk and a swim when there's all the time in the world. Other places that I like to visit include:
Botanic Gardens, Wollongong
The University of Wollongong
Anywhere with good coffee!
Belmore Basin, Wollongong
Belmore Basin, Wollongong
Wollongong Botanic Gardens
University of Wollongong
These photographs were made on the 22nd March, 2023.